February 2nd, 2012 | 21 Comments »

Hello goils!  I’m baaaack.  Didja miss me?  I missed you… for awhile.

Today’s post will be quick, just a check-in to say ‘yes, I am alive’ and ‘yes, there were some incredible lessons and changes’.  In later posts, I’ll let you know the really good, the morbidly bad, and the monstrously ugly of unhooking from the internet.

I have to say that although I knew in my head that it would be good to take a month off from blogging and internet stuff, I was really not prepared for the application of it.  At. All.

This was sort of a blind test although I did have some knowledge based on the article by Christie Glascoe Crowder over at http://typeaparent.com/going-off-the-grid-planning-and-surviving-a-digital-sabbatical.htmlI honestly didn’t think it would make that much of a difference.

I was not prepared to discover the addiction I had actually developed, not only to blogging, posting, reading – but also to surfing, shopping, and researching.  And the withdrawal symptoms I had to go through?  Good grief.  And the agony of how much I failed in the first week.  Oh, OK, the first week and a half.  And how disgusted I became with myself.  And while I did not crawl into a corner to rock and whimper through withdrawals, t’was bad enough.

I was also not prepared for all the wonder, awe and blessing I discovered by doing this.  I re-learned the art of taking time to enjoy scents, sounds, textures, views, and heartbeats.  I listened to the wind shush through the trees, loving the icy sound.  I noticed the brilliant colors of a sunrise and soaked them in.  I rubbed the nap on my diva faux mink throw that I use when sitting in the living room, and really enjoyed the softness.  I realized that the sunsets sometimes look like the world is on fire (pix above from my front yard). 

It is like I became more aware of what was around me, not realizing at all that I’d forgotten how.  

Alpha Hubby was gone two weeks of the 4 ½ weeks of January.  I discovered that I missed the quiet sounds of him.  Tinkering in the kitchen before he goes to bed at night.  Breathing softly beside me in the dark.  The humming sound he makes when he reaches out and touches me as he sleeps.  The sqeech sound the floor makes when he slips out of the room in the morning.  I do not sleep well when he is gone.

I missed the scent of him.  Burying my nose in that special place under his ear, in the nape of his neck, to inhale his special fragrance mixed with his cologne.  The fresh air bouquet he brings inside when he comes in from working outside.  The faded cologne scent on his shirts and pillow kept me company.

I do not think I realized how much I hear him without realizing it.  And as much as I love smelling his nape, I took it for granted.  It had all gotten lost in the noise of life.

It isn’t necessarily the internet itself so much as how much it can suck life out of us.  It is like we stop taking time to realize what is going on around us because the internet world becomes more real than the real world.  There are precious things of value disappearing in the busy-ness of our life. 

I discovered a lot of that busy-ness is not necessarily necessary. 

Busy-ness causes you to miss your real life.

January 1st, 2012 | 15 Comments »

Is it just me or did 2011 just zip by?   I’m kinda of feeling like I missed something!  What do you think 2012 will bring to you?  It really is YOUR choice, you know.  It isn’t that we are magicians who can pull miracles out of a hat but we can bring about changes. 

We live self-fulfilling prophecies all the time through the words of our mouth.  Words like, ‘I always get sick this time of year” or “I am never going to get ahead in my life.”  “Money sure goes!  There will never be enough to pay all my bills.”   How about, “My kids are driving me crazy; they’re never going to do right” and “You’ll always be this way.” 

Worse are the “too’s”,  “I am never going to accomplish anything with my life because it’s too or I’m too  (fill in the blank).   Suggestions?  It’s too late.  I’m too old.  I”m too young.  I’m too broke.  It’s too hard.  Even worse?  I CAN’T.  And you would be absolutely 100% right.

I think that every year, no matter how many times we’ve been proven wrong, we actually dream of and believe that we just might be able to do better this time, this new year.  We harbor private hopes that things can change.  We want to believe that resolutions work or that this time, we will keep them.

We dream of a fresh start.

Well GOOD NEWS!  I’m here to tell you that it is NEVER, never, never, ever too late.  NEVER.  Each and every one of us can make changes to make our lives better.  Even the most negative of Grinch-y people can change.  No one is exempt.  Change is possible for every. single. person.  Amen.

Of course if you SAY, “I don’t believe that.  Forget it.  It won’t happen for me” – you are absolutely right here, too.  It won’t.  Believe it or not, being positive draws good things to you.  Being negative draws negative things to you.  

Dare to believe – to have hope and keep the flame of it burning bright.  Never give up on yourself.   Never stop dreaming BIG.  If you make up your mind that you WILL make changes and you WILL enjoy your best year ever, you WILL.  You will find little things in your life that can lead to big changes.  You will find yourself looking for the positive, looking forward, and changing your own attitude and, dare I say?  Destiny.

We really do live lives full of self-fulfilling prophecies, bad or good.  And these are the ONLY lives we get here on earth.  You’d think we’d take better care of ourselves!  Quit following others and their way of doing things.  Don’t listen to those who nay-say you or your deam.  Keep away from toxic relationships!  Make choices just for yourself.  Your life is exactly what you make of it.

On that note, I am going offline for the next month.  30 big ones.  Thirty days. Thurty long daze.  It’s all the fault of Christie Glascoe Crowder who posted an article over at Type-A Parent:

http://typeaparent.com/going-off-the-grid-planning-and-surviving-a-digital-sabbatical.html

She posted the article after she went “off the grid” for a month and is creating an e-book of her experiences in a few weeks (January sometime).  I can’t wait to read it. 

Similar to her points, my thought process is to establish, for that month the following:

No blogging (posting or reading) – I tremble as you read
No engaging in social sites (Twitter) – Ditto
No surfing the web (including shopping) – full blown panic attack

All my writing, note-taking, and ideas will be done by hand with pen in my paper notebooks (thank goodness that I have a huge pile of both). 

I unsubscribed from all my digital newsletters, RSS feeds, and blogs.  I will return to the blogs (had to write down their web addresses) but I don’t need the temptation popping up every time I check my bank account or pay a bill!

As Christie pointed out,  this time period is a “full system overhaul, starting from within.”   

I have a support system in my friend Steph from over at Momma’s Soapbox.  We both began working on our Aloha lives in 2010, (her link for Aloha) (mine is HERE)  and want to build on that this coming year in more specific and powerful ways.

So do I think this is going to be a breeze?  Oh ha.  Heck no.  I have the queasy’s inside.  I actually am very nervous about unplugging myself.  But I have to do this, for me. 

I have to plug back into my life and my “self”. 

And isn’t that a wonderful way to begin a New Year?  It’s all right!  Have a good time, cause it’s all right, oh, it’s all right!!

Miss me a little bit, OK??

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

~ Frank Outlaw

December 26th, 2011 | 12 Comments »

(Pardon my redux, slightly updated.  I pulled out [and revamped] a post from 2010.)

Okay. I know I chat a bit about Alpha Hubby.  Oh, OK, I chat a LOT.  And yes, in case you haven’t noticed, I am absolutely one hundred percent head-over-heels, over-the-moon wild about him.   There’s a reason.

Let me digress a bit.  Long before I met Alpha Hubby, loooooong before (what took you so long to find me, baby??), I’d done some studying, learning, changing, realizing what was important, what wasn’t, observing, growing, and growing up. 

I also did a lot of listening.  I used to listen to the women at work talk about their husbands.  I used to listen to women at Ladies Group (Bible study) talk about their hubands.  I used to listen to friends, store clerks, and near strangers talk about their husbands.

And when I say that what these women were not saying, “Oh, he is THE best man ev-ah!!”, I’m probably understating it.  I’d listen to women put their husbands down, talk about his faults, what irritates them about him, how he messed up (like they are so perfeft), everything he does wrong, and personal details that should never have been shared in public.  It was a total lack of respect and honor. 

I swore to myself that if I ever met a Knight In Shining Armor, I would make sure a day doesn’t go by that he doesn’t know I love him.  I would protect what we have together.  I would cherish him (even in the face of dirty laundry).  I would honor him.  I would respect  him.  I would never expose him to public scrutiny in a negative way.  No gossip, no “sharing” and, for sure, no bad-mouthing.  Ev-ah.  I made up my mind to do long this before I met him.

When you consider how long I waited for this KISA (12 years), I was certainly not going to waste any part of our life together.  Oh my gosh, I’d had enough drama in my life before I met him that I swore I would NEVER EVER live like that again.  And along comes this man who loves me!  He loves me!  He’s not afraid to show it.  I love him.  I’m not afraid to show it.  I like gagging people.  I love how he loves me!  And I absolutely refuse to allow one day to go by where he does not know how much I treasure his love.  I thank God for him.

We’ve been married 17 years, 9 months, 4 weeks today.  I only grow to love him more as each year passes.  He is my best friend and support.  He believes in me.  He is the first and only man to send me flowers.  He gives me everything I need.  And if it is within his power, he gives me everything I want and desire. 

Of course, I, in turn, do not want and desire things.  I want and desire him.  He is crazy about me!  And I can honestly say to you that not one time in 17 years, 9 months, 4 weeks have I ever bad-mouthed him to another person on this earth.  Ever.  Oh, I might have talked to myself but…

We work very hard to protect our marriage.  We do not speak badly about one another to others.  We hash out everything and even tho I’m sure he wants to pinch my head off sometimes, in 17 years, 9 months, 4 weeks, I think we only went to bed mad at one another one time – sometime 16 years ago.  It was no fun.  We didn’t like it.  We decided not to do that again.

He is strong, a man of honor and unwavering in what is right and what is wrong.  He is a man of God and is beyond my wildest dreams.  He’s got my back at all times.  AND he even does the dishes and sometimes clears out the dryer, folding the clothes AND not just because he’s on the hunt for socks.  AND He vacuums.  I know!!

I am his biggest cheerleader and he is mine.  I believe in him totally.  I believe in his dreams.  And sure, there are times we holler – well, I do.  He sulls up.  We learned that we don’t like that, either.  We decided not to do that again, either.  We work to keep the poison out of our marriage.  We don’t spend time alone with the opposite sex, or have intimate conversations with them about anything

Today I decided that I wanted to do a tribute to Alpha Hubby.  I wanted to publicly thank him for loving me like he does.  He makes my world a better place with his powerful love.

 

I want to thank him for working hard to support this family and allowing me the freedom to be home to write and pursue my dreams.  I want to thank him for getting up every morning 5 to 6 days a week to go to that job.  I want to thank him for the work he does in our home, creating dream rooms for me.  I want to thank him for the passion we have together (BOY! Do I want to thank him for THAT!).  I want to thank him for the unconditional support he has given me while I am on this journey to get back into my Little Black Dress.  UN-CONDITIONAL.  His heart burns for ME (and it’s not indigestion).

I’m so glad I tangled up my life and dreams with his! 

Baby, I love how you love me.  You do an excellent job!

November 30th, 2011 | 19 Comments »

(Quotes from The Princess Bride movie, official site)

Westley:  Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup:  But how can you be sure?
Westley:  This is true love – you think this happens every day?

**************************************

Westley:  I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?
Buttercup:  Well… you were dead.
Westley:  Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

**************************************

Love never fails.  Most people recognize the saying but don’t realize it is a quote from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, commonly called the love chapter.  It lists the attributes of God’s idea of love that all people should have for one another.  Often, because it is written in the King James translation, it doesn’t impact as strongly as other translations do.

So I am sure you’re thinking, “Huh?  Am I in church today or something?”  No, no.  Just sharing a scripture because one day I dug out some other translations of that chapter and discovered that these verses truly express the love Alpha Hubby has for me.  His love never fails me. 

Just like the quote above from The Princess Bride – a wonderfully warm, funny, touching movie with twist on a classic fairy tale of true love — true love just doesn’t happen every day. 

Alpha Hubby has shown me what unconditional love is.  I never dreamed I would experience it in my lifetime.  He shows me true love – the kind that doesn’t happen every day – the kind death cannot stop.  His love manifests like this:

He is patient.
He is kind
He is not envious
He does not have a high opinion of himself, especially over me
He is not arrogant
He is always fair – if he is wrong, he admits it
He doesn’t EVER put himself first or only think of himself
He doesn’t insist on his own way all the time
He is absolutely not quick to anger – and if he gets angry, he is also very quick to forgive
He is never resentful
He doesn’t keep a record of wrongs done to him
He is always supportive, loyal, faithful, and trusting
He never gives up on me
He always believe the best in and of me

How can I not love this man?  Love is… “the arms that are holding you” - his love never fails me.

Baby, thank you for asking me to marry you when you didn’t even realize you were going to.  I’ve never regreted one day.  Not for even a moment.  

I never knew.  Now I do.  And I’m so grateful I waited for the best.

.

Lyrics – Love Never Fails, sung by Brandon Heath:

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way,
The truth, the life

Love is the river that flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

July 21st, 2011 | 10 Comments »

The ComLuv Network

Today I was given the privilege to be one of the Guest Bloggers over on the CommentLuv website.  Many of us use CommentLuv – the comment plug-in that allows commentors to leave a comment and also showcase their last post.  It is a wonderful way to meet new bloggers and to share comment-love!  How can you not Luv something that wants you to “Reward Your Readers”?

Andy, the brilliant mastermind behind CommentLuv, allows people to apply to be a guest blogger on his site.  Why?  To share the Luv, of course!  There is no hidden motive – you get to meet new bloggers, check out some great guest posts about a variety of topics, and learn amazing things about blogging.

Confused Sign

I knew zippola about blogging when I started.  I know a little more now, more in the area of things that were once a foreign language to me – widgets, plugins, code.  Thanks to guest bloggers and websites like CommentLuv, I’ve learned so much!

Of course, what I see when I visit CommentLuv are titles like this: 

How Can Video Marketing Convert Traffic

Breaking out of the Money Rut

How Plugins Make Bloggers Stupid

5 Reasons You Should AVOID Article Marketing Like the Plague

All very notable and relatively serious topics! 

Then there is mine:

Relationships: Does He Know He is Your Hero? 

There wasn’t even a subcategory for mine under Lifestyles.  But Andy knew how I wrote before he approved me as a guest blogger, so I guess he knows what he’s doing.  Maybe.  Ve vill see.

So you have someone who helps you share your blog with others.  A plugin that allows your commentors to share their own blogs.  The ability to Guest Blog and have thousands of people see it.  How can you not Luv something like that?

Please go over and check out CommentLuv – and share the Luv.  I’m just going to come right out and beg – please, please, please leave me some comment luv so I don’t feel like a guest blogger with a silly post amidst all that serious stuff going on there.  If you do, I’ll be your best friend!  I won’t gossip about you to the other bloggers!  I’ll let you play in my sandbox.  Swim in my pool?  Eat my only bar of chocolate?  NO, not that last one.  That’s just too much.

Seriously – check out CommentLuv, the guest bloggers, and if you’re not using CommentLuv, then consider it ’cause it’s great!  And if you want to leave a comment for little ole’ moi, go HERE!