The LBDDiaries.com Blog

(This is part of an on-going series Momma’s Soapbox and I are doing on Keeping Our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life. See here for the Aloha lowdown and here for the Peaceful Life reason!)

I am at a point in my life that I can take a lot of time for me, in my Secret Place.  Actually, my house has become my Secret Place.  It hasn’t always been this way.  Before, life got in the way.  Now I can look back and see that I should have heeded my mom’s advice to me more often:  “You need to always make sure you take care of YOU because you are more than just a mother.” 

She wasn’t saying that it was bad to focus on being a good mother (good thing); she was pointing out that I am a better mother when I keep in touch with who I am aside from being a mother.  I am more well-rounded and happy.

At the time she was telling me this, I was working long hours at work (12 hour days 6 days a week) and met myself coming and going.  I more often just remember picking up a son who was fed, bathed, ready for reading and bedtime (for both of us).  One Saturday evening she said, “Let him stay overnight and go do something for you – go to a movie or something mindless, to rest your mind.”  I’m sure I gazed at her blankly, partly due to exhaustion and partly due to the foreign concept of doing something just for me.

Now I can look back and see how vital and important it is that we always have a Secret Place where we can step back from our lives and do something just for ourselves.  It is a place of recharging and taking stock.  Sometimes it is a place of thoughtful contemplation and other times, it’s just unwinding by sitting with a blank stare, thinking absolutely nothing, zip, nada (not too hard for me, hoho). 

We can’t all have a Secret Garden (book by Frances Hogdson Burnett) – but don’t we wish we did?  That place behind a locked gate, the place of beauty, peace, scent, exquisite aloneness, and quietness?  It is vital to have a Secret Place – secret spot – secret chair – secret anything.  A place you do NOT pay bills, do NOT discuss anything vital and important, do NOT stress, do NOT make lists or plans, do NOT work, do NOT fret, worry or stress, and do NOT share with your children.

You may drink a cup of tea, read a book, listen to Zen or spa music (nothing screaming, just restful like the Spanish guitar music you hear), lay in the grass and look at clouds, contemplate your belly button, listen to a water fountain, thank God for all your blessings, after thinking about all your blessings or jotting them down in a journal, light a scented candle and enjoy the perfumed air, and if your secret spot is in a room, make it dark and light all sorts of candles to sit by – but do nothing stressful. 

A Secret Place is where you can get alone for a few minutes – try for a minimum of 15 minutes – the time it takes to put together and then brew a pot of tea – and let your mind slow down.  Take a breather.  One woman I know would go in the backyard and sit on her glider during the children’s naptime.  She’d slowly move the glider back and forth with her feet, just breathing, slowly and deeply, letting the thoughts and worries of the day flow right out of her mind. 

Another woman would go sit on the back stoop and drink a Dr. Pepper in a glass with ice.  When it was gone, she got back up and went inside the house a little more refreshed. Another lady (who homeschooled 4 children so was never alone) would, a little bit after her husband got home from work, go to the spare bedroom, shut the door, put on quiet music, light scented candles, put a book on tape on with headphones and listened to one chapter of her book (minimum). As you can see, it just takes a little creative thought.

We can run away to the bathroom, to soak in the bubble-filled, perfume-scented bathtub, praying no one knocks on the door with an emergency (more than “Mo-oom, he hit me!!”).  For most women, it is after everyone is in bed for the night, that she may catch a few minutes of just sitting and doing nothing, before climbing into her own bed. 

My Peaceful Tip today is to find a spot where you can create a Secret Place.  Make it your place and put it off limits to everyone else in the household.  Even if it is just a chair in the corner with a small table and candle, it is YOURS and no one else’s.  Period.  Off limits.  And when you are there, you are unavailable to everyone.  It may take some training, but you can let those around you know that you are taking your “time out” or “nap” or “rest” or whatever terminology gets the point across to them.  When you are in that Secret Place it is: “leave me alone” (or else, implied). 

Slowing down is good for the heart.  Stress kills.  Slowing down heals.  Make taking care of you a vital part of your life.  It’s OK to take time out for you.  Whoever made the rule that you had to be Super Woman was a liar.  Super Woman dropped dead in the 80’s, from exhaustion.  Today, be a Smart Woman – one who takes care of her health and mental well-being.  You’ll like yourself – and life – a lot better!   And don’t buy into guilt – that is is wrong to take some time for you.  Hog wash – it is especially important to set aside you-time.  Don’t tell yourself, “I just don’t have time.”  MAKE time.  It’s that important.

Do you already have a Secret Place?  Tell us in the comment section so others can learn how to find their own spot, too!


Make a perfect pot of tea:  http://www.lbddiaries.com/beauty.html

I am so beautiful to me – can’t you seeee??  Oh, sorry!  I am just feeling pretty doggoned special!  I have been given my very first award – the Cherry on Top Award.  Here’s what it looks like:

It’s like the cherry on top of a hot fudge sundae – well, I don’t like those cherries but I do love sharing it with Alpha Hubby – but my point is, someone thought I have a beautiful blog with that little something extra!  Wow.

Thanks to my lovely new blog-friend, Maegan, at (Mrs) Plus Size Barbie – isn’t that the neatest name? – for presenting me with my very first award –

The rules that come with this reward are

1. Task number one:  Answer this question:

If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you, and what would it be?

2. Task number two: Pick six people for this award and let them know.

3. The third and final task:  thank the person who gave me the award.

I will start with number three first – thanking the person who gave me the award – Maegan at Mrs. Plus Size Barbie.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. It is an honor to be given this award.  I want to introduce others to Maegan’s website – but first, here is her own award link when she won the award. 

http://mrsplussizebarbie.blogspot.com/2010/09/cherry-on-top.html

I truly love what she had to say for her answer to the question we are required to answer.  I believe everyone should read it because it is uplifting and so true. 

http://mrsplussizebarbie.blogspot.com

The question – If I had a chance to go back and change one thing in my life, would I, and what would it be?  YES I would do it.

My mind immediately went two different directions so I will have to give both answers – one short – I would have stopped the weight gain back when it was first creeping on.  Self-explanatory.

The long one?  OH I would have played more and stressed less.  I wouldn’t have cared so much about housework as a single parent, and would have taken my son off on more adventures.  I would have written more stories for him, sung more songs to him, danced in more mud puddles, and played, played, played.  I would not have worried about what other people thought and would have sung at the top on my lungs all the time (thank goodness, I can sing, but that’s not the point). 

I spent way too many days off cleaning the house.  Now I look back and think, “Why didn’t I take him to the zoo more often?”  I realize hindsight is easy and that I did the best I could at the time, but the other day we gave my son and his new bride a wedding reception.  Last night, when he had trouble sleeping, he wrote me this email – that still makes me cry – and while I would have played more back when he was little, I have no real regrets:

“… (Mom) I thought I would send you an email and tell you I love you. Not cause u buy me stuff all the time or give me money… (smile)… but cause you do fun things. Even at the party you said “who cares if any one comes we’ll have fun any way.” We get there and there’s all this silly stuff on the table that i thought was awesome. Candies nuts dice chips. But the coolest was all the party favors Lieghann loved them. She thought it was so cool and couldn’t stop talking about them. So I wanna say I love you and thanks for making life fun and the best.”

What more can I say?  I did finally learn to play more and stress less.

Now for the last task – Pick six people for this award and let them know. Not THAT easy – I’ve met some amazing bloggers and would like to list all my followers! I will do that in a later post just because they are some blogs you should see, guaranteed!

1 – My best e-friend-blog-Aloha partner, Steph at Momma’s Soapbox.  Her upbeat attitude has helped me so much, and her “spilling the beans one coffee cup at a time” posts always make me smile or think or learn something and always glad I visited her site.

http://mommassoapbox.blogspot.com/

2 – There is a food blog that I discovered one day that, to this day, I believe is THE number 1 BEST and most HYSTERICAL food blog out there – Sticky Cook.  Please, please, please take time to view her videos – they will leave you howling with laughter (and her recipes ain’t bad, either).  She has a website chock full of recipes (with an intro video) and a blog where she introduces recipes and chats in her amazingly funny style! What this woman does with chocolate…

http://stickycook.com/

http://stickycook.blogspot.com/

3 – Leslie over at Words of Me loves words (me, too!!)! This shines through in every post, and neat quotes pepper them along with beautiful pictures.  Drop over and visit her beautiful blog.

http://wordsofmeproject.blogspot.com/

4 – Shelli over at Style Ingenuity is not only a Certified Etiquette and Image Consultant but she posts about amazing styles, products, latest fashion looks, all things I love!  She will help you stay in style and is also creating a Friday Mixxer Blog Hops Directory!  Fun!

http://www.styleingenuity.com/

5 – Miss Jeannie over at Soccer Mom in Giggle Town has a great sense of humor and shares that humor intermingled with wonderful Bible teachings she pens with wisdom.  I always learn something good!

 http://soccermomingiggletown.com/

6 – And finally last, but by no means least, is my newest e-blog-friend Cate at Moments of Whimsy – where do these people get their awesome blog names?  All of them are great.  Cate is an ex-pat Australian living in New Zealand.  Her pictures make you want to MOVE there immediately. 

http://momentsofwhimsy.wordpress.com/

Please drop in and visit these wonderful bloggers and LEAVE A COMMENT to let them know you were there.  It’s the right thing to do!

(This is part of an on-going series Momma’s Soapbox and I are doing on Keeping Our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life. See here for the Aloha lowdown and here for the Peaceful Life reason!)

I love this song you might hear playing – Simon and Garfunkel’s “59th Street Bridge Song” (often called “Feelin Groovy”).  I always focused on the lines – Slow down, you move too fast; You got to make the morning last” – and never more so than recently. (Go down & click on the arrow to pause it if hearing it begins to get on your nerves.)

This is combined with something I remember hearing about in the mid-80′s – the Slow Movement. It began in Italy with Carlo Petrini’s protest against the opening of a McDonald’s restaurant in Piazza di Spagna, Rome.  This sparked the creation of the Slow Food organization. 

Opposed to the culture of fast food, Slow Food seeks to encourage the enjoyment of regional produce, traditional foods, which are often grown organically, and to enjoy these foods in the company of others.  To slow down and not only enjoy the food but also the cooking process itself.

In Alpha Hubby’s and my search to eat more healthy, we finally had to face the need to give up processed foods and chemical-laden items if we wanted to feel good, live long and live strong.  We had to learn to eat more “whole*.” This pretty much WIPED OUT ALL YUMMY STUFF changed the way we ate.  I don’t say it was easy because at first, not only my mouth but my mind and body rebelled and wanted to have a sit-down at the table and stuff the face to negotiate terms about what I was eating.

*Whole food is food that is minimally processed, and free of antibiotics, hormones, pesticides, flavor enhancers and other additives.  I love this example:  Does the food look like it once lived on this planet? Lettuce, eggs, yes. Marshmallows cream, NutraSweet, Nutella, no.  NO! Break my heart NO.

OK, OK, enough drama queen.  To be very honest, in about 2 weeks your taste buds change.  Not only does food taste better, if you eat something processed, you actually can TASTE the chemicals in it.  Eating healthy sure ruins some great foods.  *Ahem* – I didn’t just say that.  It was someone else.

So I’m sure you’re thinking, “What the heck does all this have to do with the Peaceful Aloha type lifestyle!”  Even if you aren’t, I am going to tell you right now. Hold the applause. It’s too loud there’s so much of it going on!

See this?  It is commonly called a “sink full of vegetables.”

I used to call it “compost” because pretty much I’d purchase it, put it in the fridge, then a wee bit later, scrape it out, and throw it in the trash. I lost more fresh vegetables in that fridge than I ever ate.  I “meant” to eat them but somehow, once they were placed in the veggie-eating box, I never saw them in their beautiful, natural state again.  Nope. Usually they came out slimey, green, mushy and nothing anywhere near what it used to look like.

But as part of my Peaceful Life, I am learning that after I purchase the beautiful fresh vegetables, I need to schedule a time to sit down for at least an hour and plan to wash, dry, chop, tear apart, bag up and put back in fridge these luscious life-sustaining good-for-me foods. Last night I put oldies on the radio and blasted it throughout the kitchen while boogie-ing and chopping away.

Why?  Why spend an HOUR or more cleaning, chopping, preparing, and bagging spinach, lettuce, onions, celery, peppers, oranges, fruit and whatever else is in that box that needs dealing with?

Because then, when your body says, “But I don’t wanna take time to fix someething healthy!  Let’s go to the Bistro! Instant food! Fast food! We can eat their fries and start FRESH (hoho) again tomorrow” – you can tell it to SHUT UP.  Why?  Because all you have to do is reach in the fridge, pull out the baggies of pre-cut foods, and create this for lunch – in no time flat:

So the Peaceful Tip for this week is the thought that with a little preparation in advance, you can stop the impulse eating that comes when you don’t want to take (or have the) time to fix something healthy.  It saves time and it saves aggravation.  Always a peaceful thing!

That said, I want to know if someone can explain this to me – something that comes from a locally-owned grocery store – and I THOUGHT dealt mostly in locally grown foods.  Anyone???

And no, I didn’t notice this before I bought it. Makes me wonder how early they had to pick it to get it from Holland to my grocery store here in Arkansas.  Just how fresh can THAT be????

Oh and p.s. – if you have trouble finding organic foods, then things like peppers, oranges, apples, etc., things that have wax on them, can be soaked in a sink full of warm water with 1/4 cup vinegar added to it. Soak 15 minutes, rinse and dry. It will help remove some of the pestisides, etc., that you don’t want to eat and make the food a good alternative to organic. Well, as much as possible!

Don’t mind me, I’m just practicing.  NO NO NO NO NO!

…lovely sourdough French bread. As toast with butter. As sandwich. Dunked in below mentioned coffee. Oh let me count the ways…

…bites of Ba*y Ru*h candy bars. Yeah, uhn huh and if you believe that ONE bite story…

…coffee with a dollop of heavy whipping cream and it’s not the coffee that’s the prob here.

…steak fries from the bistro down the road along with whatever they were served with ’cause it’s never good for me. Except going down. It’s the staying part – on my bod – that is not good.

…cream cheese on bagel or not on bagel. Perhaps diet crackers? Not if I eat the whole box. Since there aren’t that many in diet boxes anyway. Right? NO cream cheese. NO bagels. And for darn sure NO Thomas Sourdough English Muffins. NO NO NO.

…to the fact everything may tastes better sitting on a R*tz but whatever it AND the Ritz are not in my best interests. At all. Ever. R*tz are not my friend.

Miss Julia over at http://www.everydaymomideas.com sent me this comment on one of the posted questionaires I filled out that had pix – here is the trigger – and here is what she said (tongue in cheek, not snarky):

Did you ever stop to think that their are other struggling dieters out there, that just might not appreciate being exposed to delicious-mouth-watering photos of fries? I dont think so! You need to check yourself, girlfriend. ;)

Oh and p.s. there is NOTHING wrong with the meme thingie I am a part of, it’s ME. My digging around for delish pix and the like. I love the questionaire, I just have a “NO” issue I’m working on!

SHE’S RIGHT!  I used to fill out those questionaires and post mouthwatering pictures – then wonder later on why I craved some food – like fries – that I hadn’t even thought about.

I was putting it before my eyes – tempting myself.  Temptation comes in many forms. My problem is that I thought “just one bite won’t hurt” and while that one bite might not, it is a TRIGGER – the pirahana effect I told you about before. I become a remorseless eating machine. I won’t even realize I was beginning to go the wrong direction until my clothes get tight again. I didn’t even look back to see what triggered it (because I quit writing in my food journal days ago).

I have to tell myself to the food AND to the mouthwatering pictures (I mean, I just posted a delish manacotti picture and I want it but I’m telling myself) – a big fat

Otherwise I will continue taking 2 steps backwards instead of jogging forward.  I heard a woman on a television show the other day.  She’s lost 180 pounds in her 30′s.  She’d been overweight since she was 8 years old.  She said, “I will never put another Snick**s bar in my mouth again for as long as I live.  It was one of my worst offenders.”  ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS.  She lost a whole person, simply thru diet and exercise.  I say simply – it isn’t – but rather than surgery. But what I caught was that she told herself ‘NO’ to get there.

Between that lady and Julia, I am learning.  The answer is

Ya know, this blog is about my journey back into my Little Black Dresses.  I have many.  All if different sizes.  My last one – the final one – is this one:

Just a reminder of what my goal is.  My lovely backless beautiful Little Black Dress to stun Alpha Hubby with. I need reminders once in awhile.

I’ve been on this journey over a year and not accomplished much.  Oh, I lost a little weight and gained a lot of HEAD knowledge – studying, researching, figuring, learning about myself, freaking, quitting, starting again, never giving up – but I haven’t really, really APPLIED this knowledge.  Obviously.  Ugh.

I had an epiphany the other day – really eye-opening.  Two things happened.  One was an incredible dream that I got up and wrote down as soon as I woke up so I wouldn’t forget it.  I’ll clean it up and either post it here or on the website.  It was something else and said a lot about my inner… child?  Image?  Skinny person? 

The second thing that happened was realizing that there comes a time, as an overweight person, that you realize you’re a schizophrenic or actually, it is called multiple person-inside disorder.  No, seriously!  You are two people.  At least I hope that’s all you are.  And it is like you begin to accept, “I am never going to be slender again. I may as well accept this.  I am stuck here forever.” 

This doesn’t happen on the outside – outside you’re still dieting, exercising, fighting with yourself, eating right, eating wrong, despairing, working toward goals, failing, getting up and doing it again, blah blah blah.

BUT INSIDE!  Inside is where the most important things are going on – and I don’t mean digestion.  Inside there is a whole other person – one who is programming what you do on the outside.  Some people call it our subconscious but I think it’s just a inner evil bread-loving chocolate-hoarding person who wants to control my mind and ruin my life.  OK, no, that’s not it.  I know you think I have serious issues here but I’m just joshing with ya – really!  NO, I am NOT hearing voices.  No, you do NOT need to go get the guys with the straightjackets.  Really.

OK.  I’m back.  One of the hardest things I ever had to do was face the fact that the inner image I had of myself physically was fat.  It didn’t matter how hard I tried to change, it wouldn’t go away.  Of course, I don’t think I even realized that my inner image was like that until recently.  A lot of stuff has happened recently.

All my life (well, since Senior year in high school), I’ve been on a diet or watched what I ate, or constantly stayed ON GUARD against gaining wieght.  If my weight fluctuated AT ALL, I jumped on it like a bird on a June bug (hubby’s saying).  I wasn’t overweight that time period in high school, but I gained a couple of pounds and my mom freaked.  That day is BURNED into my memory and actually affected my life profoundly.  Dieting controlled the rest of my senior year.  She didn’t mean to put that – fear – into me, but it happened all the same.


But still, I never gained weight after that year.  That Freshman 15 was taken off as fast as it tried to jump on.  Weight-gain induced paranoia began to control my life.  It happened years later, after I had my son and had trouble getting the extra 30 pounds off, then quit smoking, then got sloppy on my viligance and viola!  A few years ago it all fell apart.

My inner image had fallen apart.  I couldn’t SEE that I was gaining weight.  I couldn’t tell things had gotten out of hand.  And then one day, I did indeed see – ugh – but by that time, I couldn’t even visualize myself slender anymore.  It was as if I accepted that it would be impossible to change ever again.  It was as if my outside finally caught up with the inner image I had of myself, the picture that developed years ago in the darkroom of my mind with a slender mother who stressed over every pound her daughter dallied with.  My outer image became what was inside me.


I finally had to admit to myself recently that I had a skewed inner image.  As long as my inner image of myself is fat, my outer self is going to match it.  Without the inner image of hope, nothing is going to change.  Without change, what you see in the mirror can be a lie – like an aneorexic person who sees fat when they’re bone thin (or vice versa).

This is very eye-opening for me.  It explains a lot – like why I can eat right for a few weeks, then suddenly gorge on something I know will trigger a feeding frenzy – pirahana anyone?  They are called “remorseless eating machines.”  That’s how I feel sometimes. An apt description of me and sourdough French bread.  Or cream cheese and bagels.

I am programmed to fail.  No, let me change that.  I WAS programmed to fail but I’ve caught on to what’s happening.  I have to change my inner image.

This is something I will be doing (and telling you about) for the next few blogs (interspersed with the Peaceful Aloha life stuff since it’s all releated.  Yeah, your lifestyle can affect your weight.  The lack of peace in a home can affect your weight.  Stress can affect your weight… but that’s a whole different blog.

Today, I am working on my inner image.  There IS a slender woman in there hiding behind that fat blankity-blank so-in-so who’s tried to take over my life.  I am going to evict her. 

I’m tired of this multiple person-inside disorder!

Here is a great Friday Mixer and check this site out – it’s great!

(This is part of an on-going series Momma’s Soapbox and I are doing on Keeping Our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life. See here for the Aloha lowdown and here for the Peaceful Life reason!)

Alpha Hubby has this irritating sweet and helpful habit of saying, “Did you write it down?” when I say I forgot to do something. It’s like the saying, “If you have no goals, you’re not going anywhere.”  I have no idea who said that – it’s just one of those things I jotted down on a piece of paper because I wanted to remember it.  It’s similar to something Mary Kay Ash said.

I have been reading about Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics.  Her story is amazing – in a time when women were considered incapable of running an business empire, and after she had retired after 25 years in the work force - she proved all naysayers wrong. 

I have been studying about something she did every day:  she respected time.  Time is our life.  We exchange time for money (jobs), we exchange time for entertainment (reading, going to movies), we exchange time for relationships (spending time with loved ones).  Time is valuable.  Here is a quote from the book:

Every day before Ash went to work, she would make a list of the “Six Most Important Things” to do, and give herself deadlines to finish each. “Over the years, I’ve observed that nearly all high achievers know how to make good of those 1,440 minutes in each day,” said Ash.

Anything she did not finish on the assigned day, she would move to the top of her “Six” list the next morning.

So I am working to do just that – start every morning making a list of 6 things I want to accomplish that day.  I am learning how to assign a “deadline” to the task but it’s difficult because I am in the bad habit of becoming sidetracked.  I have to develop in this area.

Speaking of getting sidetracked, I remember learning a trick a long time ago about not leaving a room until you are finished in that room.  I know it was about housework but it really works in every area of life.  The article said to take large brown paper sacks and write on the outside the name of each room in your house.  Then, if your goal was to clean the living room and there were items in that living room that belonged in another room, DO NOT LEAVE THE LIVING ROOM.  Place the items in the sack with the right room marked on it.  In other words, if you have children’s toys that belong in their room, you put the toys in the sack marked “kids room” (whatever, you know what I mean).  Then deal with the items in the sack one sack at a time.

I still try to incorporate this into my house cleaning to this day but I use cheap plastic clothes baskets that I picked up at the Dollar Store.  Of course, sometimes there are white plastic laundry baskets sitting all around the house, mocking my goal setting goals but I keep plugging and keep trying and keep working on it!

Now I need to apply this goal setting list to my daily life.  If one of the items on my list to write a posting for the day, then I can’t get up and answer the phone to chat for an hour with a friend, send a personal email, or read a book.  Any one of those sidetracks will throw my goal setting list and deadlines off, and ruin the entire point of goal setting. Ask me how I know. I have to set those things aside and finish the posting.  I can call back, write later, and read when all items on the list are accomplished!

Today I started with four items.  My four goals are making Alpha Hubby’s bread (bread machine, actually), the dining room, kitchen, and my bath area.  Under each goal I wrote exactly what I want to accomplish.  The dining room alone may take longer than any of them so I had to put the kitchen first since that only involved getting the bread machine set up, the dishes and sweeping – easy stuff that needed to be done.  When I’m done in the kitchen, I will head to the dining room with the bathroom being last on the list (one most likely to be pushed to tomorrow’s list).  The dining room is more visible and has been cluttered with unpacked stuff longest.  I need to finish finding a place for everything and everything in its place.

If you know you will not finish an item in one day, just do what you can that day.  In my case, unpacking from the move is a one-shot deal.  Once it is finished, I will never have to deal with it again.  It is hard to define a deadline for unpacking so I have to figure out ways to break it down into discernable goals – things I can do that day that will move the unpacking forward.  Thus, I finish unpacking and putting away the boxes in the dining room.  That is a goal.  I do not bring more boxes in to be unpacked until these boxes are dealt with.

The kitchen, on the other hand, is a goal I know a good deadline for.  I know about how long it takes to do the dishes and load the dishwasher, sweep and mop the floor, wipe the counters, clean the stovetop.  I can set that goal deadline fairly accurately.

So the Peaceful Tip for today is to write down your daily goals.  Start every day knowing what you want to accomplish that day, listed in order of importance.  Do not go to the next item on the list until you are finished with the one you are on.  Do not stress and do set realistic deadlines.  If you need me, I’ll be in the dining room for as long as it takes to get it in order!  That pix above is deceptive – there is a temporary table set in front of the dining room table and the temp table is covered in unpacked items.  Help me, Rhonda!! My poor bathroom may be pushed out for… forever!

They call it “Sin City” and a quick internet search brings up explanations such as, “The city’s tolerance for various forms of adult entertainment earned it the title of Sin City. On the other hand, Las Vegas also has the highest number of churches per capita of any major U.S. city” (funny, I didn’t see any – except wedding chapels). [1]

Another article says: ”Sin City” – a place where there’s lots of “activity” going on, legal or illegal.  If you have a specific vice, Las Vegas is the place to indulge in it. These vices usually include sex, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, and gambling.  While other cities certainly contain all of these elements, Las Vegas is infamous for being the place where none of these vices have to hide.  They’re out in the open for everyone to see, whether you’re comfortable with them or not.  Vegas has, and probably always will be, the number one place to party and let your addictions run wild, whatever they may be. [2]

Las Vegas is jammed pack full of cars and people.  It is noisy and bright.  It is a perfect place for a people observer like me. Things are available all night long.  Casinos are open 24 hours a day.  Malls are set inside hotels, geared toward the type hotel.  Alpha Son’s hotel was geared more toward youth with stores such as American Eagle, Guess and the like.  More upscale hotels catered to the wealthy with Chanel and Armani.  There were outlet malls and restaurants.  Anything you could think of to do could be catered to.

I wasn’t prepared to like Las Vegas.  I assumed it was going to be full of gambling and prostitution.  It was.  Although I did meet some amazing people and was treated to the “Star Treatment” of the Bellagio, Las Vegas was heartbreaking, too.  I can honestly say that every person I had dealings with, no matter what – restaurant, wig store, outlet mall, hotel store, etc., was friendly and very, very nice.  It wasn’t the above-people scene that got to me. It is that other scene, the underneath one.

I believe almost every large hotel has a built-in casino.  The Bellagio, where we stayed, had a beautiful one.  Black and gold, glittering, classy looking.  Two piano bars with talented people playing songs that make you stop and listen for a minute or two. Well dressed (and not so) people, with upscale restaurants lining the walls and high end shopping at one end. 

What I do recall were the lines of people at the banker-type cages.  They got their playing chips, tickets, and whatnot there.  There were young people, but mostly?  Mostly it looked like senior citizens and retired people.  Elderly couples helping one another walk.  That surprised me. Older people barely able to walk, even with a cane, tottering over to spend their hard-earned money in a “one-armed bandit”.

That other scene I mentioned?  Not the one you saw on the movie “Ocean’s 11″ for sure. Not the glittering, happy, laughing, beautifully dressed beautiful people. Nope. Las Vegas is a city of contrasts; polar opposites. One evening, we walked through a casino to reach the parking garage on the other side of our restaurant.  This was not a beautiful black and gold casino. It was almost… washed out. Just a casino. My ears were assaulted by the noise – loud music, loud talking, loud clanging and dinging of the machines; my eyes were assaulted with a visual of what it is all about. 

People’s faces were lit by the screen of whatever machine they were hunched over.  Almost all of them were like zombies, one finger continually pushing the button that would change the screen in front of them.  Most weren’t moving at all with the exception of that one finger reaching out to press the button when they didn’t get three of a kind.  Over and over and over, press, press, press, totally oblivious to the noise, chaos and people around them.  The only other move they made was to insert more money into the slot.

There was a desperation on most the faces of the people I saw.  Some, coming into the casino, looked excited and hopeful, carrying their rolls of change and drinks.  Others, who had been there awhile, were surrounded by empty plastic drink cups, ash trays piled high with cigar and cigarette butts, eyes glazed and body slumped, attempting to win at a machine that is guaranteed to take away money.

One morning Alpha Hubby went out early to check out the city.  What he found was the truth behind the glitter.  There is an air of hopelessness that isn’t quite so obvious at night.  There were people stumbling out of casinos, some drunk, staggering, bleary eyed.  There were street musicians who slept on the street the night before (above). They were unwashed and didn’t look anyone in the eye. It was very sad.  There were hookers standing around along with pimps keeping an eye out.  There was blatant visible drug use and early morning drinking.  As the day wore on, more and more people crowded the streets and sidewalks, all rushing to spend money on something, anything, legal or illegal.

Most of the people I talked to didn’t like living there but couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.  The traffic was incredible and road maintenance went on day and night, causing traffic tangles.  While I used to live in the city (Kansas City MO), I had forgotten about the lanes of traffic and being on constant guard watching the other drivers.  Overall, there were more people than the street could handle so you even had to keep an eye out on people leaning too close from the curb into traffic.

I wanted to write about the wedding, the incredible room and other service, the magnificent restaurants, the beauty we saw, and the amazing lights, and Bellagio fountains.  I will write about that and post pictures, but foremost in my mind all the way home was the truth behind the glitter, lights, shows, and shopping.

 Las Vegas broke my heart.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Las_Vegas,_Nevada

[2] http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5607364/origins_of_american_city_nicknames.html

Oh get your mind out of the gutter.  Not THAT kind of quickie.

I have to do some major unpacking, go get my farm fresh eggs, run to the bank and make deposits, download pictures off the camera from the trip, then find my dining room.  Not necessarily in that order!  So this will be a quick Meet Me Monday which is sponsored every Monday by Java over at Never Growing Old.  It is a fantastic way to meet new bloggers and have fun!

Questions:

1. What is your favorite pasta dish?
2. What is the last thing you do before going to bed?
3. How many nights a week do you go out to eat?
4. Are you an avid book reader?
5. Would you rather have x-ray vision or bionic hearing?

1 – Pasta – oh *sigh* Pasta, pasta, pasta, how I love thee, let me count the … calories.  We cut pasta out of our lives awhile back but my fave is stuffed manacotti. Not the work part, tho!

2 – The last thing I do before going to bed is quit reading whatever mystery I started.  It’s my way of relaxing but it is also something I have to keep in control.  Sometimes the who-dunnits take over! This is the first Mrs. Pollifax book by Dorothy Gilman. Hysterical story of a woman who is a widow, retired and bored out of her gourd with her garden club – who wants to become a secret agent – and does.

3 – Zero.  It is very, very rare that we eat out.  When we changed our lifestyle to whole foods, it put a kibosh on a whole bunch of foods!! 

4 – See #2 – oh yes, yes, yes!  I am the kid who read books with a flashlight under the covers at night – who had to be dragged out of bed the next morning!  Partial bookshelf.  I am paring down but like keeping series that I love re-reading.

5 – Alpha Hubby swears I already have bionic hearing, so I’d have to go with x-ray vision – or a really nifty pair of Night Vision Goggles!!!

OK – now I need to head to the bank – so if you don’t have a blog but want to answer, use the comment section.  Otherwise, link up with Java’s Meet Me Monday and meet some new e-friends!