The LBDDiaries.com Blog

So here I am out in left field. Well, actually, this is Alpha Hubby in left field. I am out of my comfort zone.

Left Field (click on any picture to enlarge):

This is our new field to the left of the house.  In the field to the right are these two characters – Alpha (beginning of the herd):

And Omega (ending in my freezer): 

As soon as these two were dropped off in the right field, they promptly (unbeknownst to us) got spooked and Omega broke thru the bobbed-wire fence and led Alpha astray… 280 acres away astray.  It took two days and multiple hours for these two, seen here discussing the importance of spending quality time together while chasing two contrary calves, to herd the… umm… herd (can two cows be a herd? Yes, if they are all you have right now!), back through the fence.

Meanwhile I have been dealing with this, the before part of the deep end of the pool (after the men came to measure for a new liner) wherein are two huge frogs, bugs, grunge and whatnot – and this is AFTER they drained it, pulled the old liner out and went on their merry way planning to come back another day.  Some water leaked back in and it also rained but ewww.  It was uber gross.

Here is Day 1 after they installed the liner; I am very pleased.  I began filling the pool.

I am very happy with the results BUT my Day 2 and part of Day 3 pictures pretty much look the same because they made me call them to finish when it was 6″ in the shallow end (which meant losing 17 hours fill time); then they came, finished up; I began filling again – and the liner began pulling out from under the cap on top holding it on.  Another 16 hours fill time gone.  I yam not a patient person.

BUT hooray!  Today I got to begin filling again and now it looks like this and should be full by tomorrow after church.  Isn’t it beautimous?  I am blessed.

So we are starting our new adventure.  He’s ranched before (before me) and has always wanted to get back into it.  We decided to raise our own beef so we KNOW what is in them – healthy beef.  It is actually part of my journey – eating healthy.

This nice long beautiful driveway.  Can’t you see it with twinkle lights at Christmas, wrapped around the top of the fence?  I know!  Awesome, huh?  But you should have heard Alpha Hubby when I mentioned that to him! Whaaaat?

I did learn that moving, having stuff in two houses, remodeling, unpacking, freaking about space, and other lovely things like that, can affect your journey back into your Little Black Dress.  It’s called STRESS and you sure can eat some crapola during this time period.  It pays to pay attention – which I didn’t do – so now I am getting off the five pounds I put on by eating deli food.  Didn’t matter that it was a Swiss Bistro – toooooooo much bread (and homemade steak fries).

But that is part of the journey – life sometimes gets in the way!  Be prepared – better than I was – and factor things like this into your journey!!

I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away (Hero, Enrique Iglesias, 2001)

I don’t know why I’ve been fixated on Alpha Hubby lately, but there it is.  I am.  He’s been on my mind a lot.  Oh, not that he isn’t on my mind all the time (sorry babe, didn’t want you to freak there) – he is, really, ALL the time.  Really!  It’s a burden, truly. I’d like to think about other things… other people… but no.  I am fixated on Alpha Hubby.

Here’s the thing.  In a world full of wimps, blowhards, cheaters, playa’s, clowns, beaters, wussies, weenies, males (as opposed to being a man), whiners, slackers, couch potatoes, abusers, drinkers, and any other adjective applied to males out there.  In a world full of these whatevers, there are very few real men.

A real man protects, supports, believes in, loves unconditionally, romances, will stand by you forever, does not cheat no matter the provocation – and trust me on this – if you have a good man, some skank will want to come along and *try* to steal him.  Ask my how I know.  Yep, even in church, baby.  If I weren’t fully 100 percent guaranteed saved, she would have gone DOWN.  OK OK OK, I’m so over that.  Need to move on here.

*Ahem*  Where was I.  Oh yes, real men.  And how Alpha Hubby is helping me on this journey back into my Little Black Dress.  He is the total essence of what a real man is.  A man is a strange and rare phenomenon that few women have actually experienced. I’m sure all of us have experienced males in one form or another frm a chauvinistic boss to a slimey cheating lying boozin’ rodeo ridin’ loose hipped self-named Mr. Wonderful icky ex.

Here is a truth.  Real men need to know they are your hero – that knight in shining armor who can ride in and rescue, fix and otherwise make life better for his woman.  Even if she doesn’t want or need him to.  Umm, ignore that.  It took me awhile to realize that men need to fix things.  When we women talk to them about our thoughts, sometimes they think that means we want them to FIX a problem when we just want them to listen to us.  But I digress. 

OK – the point of the blog today.  This song referenced, Hero by Enrique Iglesias, is so powerful.  Alpha Hubby tells me things like that all the time.  He asks me to dance around the house with him.  He asks if I’ll go wherever he goes (and I think I just proved that, didn’t I).  He works hard for us.  He takes exquisite care of me.  He fixes things that I don’t even need fixing. 

He builds me amazing flower gardens (all because I mentioned I always wanted one) – and fountains, and decks and 600 sq ft enclosed sunrooms (that was only supposed to be a small screened in patio).  I loved it, it was an amazing room.  And he has stood by me on every diet, eating plan, and exercise program I’ve started (and failed), doing everything possible to help me.

A man knows when his woman doesn’t think he is a hero.  Pretty much everyone around them knows she doesn’t think he’s a hero, either.  It is in a woman’s power to build a man up and to knock him down – to be his cheerleader or his worst nightmare.  He doesn’t always want you to know you can have this power over him, but you can.  Right babe?  Babe?  Hello?

And I don’t tell him often enough what an amazing hero he is to me.

Baybay?  You are my hero.  I will dance with you.  I’ll go wherever you take us.  I would cry if I saw you crying.  I do tremble when you touch my lips.  I would die for you if necessary, and if I take your breath away, I’ll share mine with you – and I swear I will always be yours.

Thank you for helping me along this journey – for believing in me.  You prove patience really is a virtue.  You make it all worthwhile.

Whole lyrics to Hero HERE

When one is overweight, one has developed what I call “The Art of Lying.”  Oh, don’t get huffy – we have all lied to ourselves at one time or another when it comes to excess weight.  How do you think we got to where we are?  Whether it is 10 pounds or 200 pounds, somewhere along the line, we did that settling I’ve talked about and decided we look just fine.

Of course, if that is true, why are we always thinking about those extra pounds?  Why is it we don’t want to go to the store for fear of running into people we know?  How many times have we been depressed because there is nothing to wear in our closet (read, nothing that looks good on us)?  Too bad we don’t have talking mirrors.  If we did, it would be easier to be honest… or more probably learn to destroy mirrors. 

But the kind of lying I am talking about is that deep down lying you probably don’t even realize you do.  Take the food journal you need to be keeping.  While tracking down ever bite you eat, knowing you have a daily calorie intake limit, do you ever, say… feel the urge to cheat a wee bit?  Say, shave off a serving size or two, telling yourself, “It won’t really matter?”  Or maybe you write down that oatmeal but don’t count the butter and sugar you put in it?  Or maybe you don’t count the cream in the coffee thinking it won’t make that much difference to the bottom line?  YOU are the ONLY one you are fooling.

How about not counting the “reward” day you give yourself for being good all week?  Do you realize you can undo every beneficial thing you’ve done the prior week in one little reward day?  Are you lying to yourself about how much of a reward you are giving yourself?  I was.  I had to stop the reward days, reward meals and reward anything because I discovered that pretty soon I would flip-flop and have 6 days of reward days and one day of eating right. 

WE DID NOT BECOME OVERWEIGHT BY BEING HONEST WITH OURSELVES.  We have spent this entire time saying, “I’m not eating that much.  I don’t know why I keep gaining weight.”  How about the old, “I’ve tried every diet program out there and they all don’t work for me.”  Unh huh.  Sure.  Yep.  How about, “I quit every diet program out there and that is why they didn’t work for me?” 

Let’s quit lying to ourselves.  My all-time lie to myself was that a diet program didn’t work but the truth was I began to finagle and change up the program a little bit.  You know what I mean.  If it said, “Eat 350 calories for breakfast” and meant healthy serving size of oatmeal, dry whole wheat toast and orange juice, I would say, “Hmm, if I eat one biscuit and some gravy and coffee, as long as I eat the same amount of calories they mandated, I’ll be fine.”  Yeah, except I didn’t factor in the extra fat, the white flour (which is a trigger food for me) and so much cream in my coffee, it was off the chart in calories.  Or that I’d eat “just one more half of a biscuit….”

The trouble with lying to yourself is that if you lie to yourself long enough, you will begin to believe yourself.  You really do believe you aren’t eating as much as you are because you have no idea how much you really are eating.  An example?  You may not be eating as many times a day as you used to, but you may be eating more at each meal to make up for it.  You also really believe you aren’t eating that much or that every program has failed you.

In the beginning of the journey into the Little Black Dress, face the fact that you have been lying to yourself all this time.  As you begin to learn true portion sizes, check and make sure you are not cheating on your journal and lying to yourself about the amount of exercising you are doing.  If you think, “I’m not eating that much” stop and say, “No, that is a lie. I am obviously eating too much somewhere or I wouldn’t need to lose this weight.”  The more honest you are with yourself the faster you will get into your Little Black Dress and feel better about yourself!

(#2 for me and #7 for originator)  It is that time again – I so enjoyed reading other people’s responses via email & comments – it’s interesting what we all have in common and what is different.  If you don’t post blogs, answer these questions in the comment section below.

Meet me on Monday is the brainchild of Never Growing Old.  Every Monday she posts five “get to know you” questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!! She also does a “linky” so we can follow who participates and get to know them better! Be sure to go over and link your Monday post at Never Growing Old!

Questions:

1. What one food could you eat every single day?
2. Do you wear glasses or contacts?
3. What kind of cell phone do you have?
4. What did you have for dinner last night?
5. What is your favorite candy?

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Answers:

1 – What one food… hmmm… every single day… MAN that’s tough. EVERY day? Some foods I love but EVERY DAY? OK – it would be a toss up between fresh picked blueberries or sun-ripened strawberries. Really! We’re talking every day here and I could so munch down on both of those every single day. I have blueberries in my fridge, right now!

                    

2 – Contact lenses since 1969 – started out with those hard plastic kind. Sort of amazing how far lenses have come!! I own a pair of glasses but couldn’t tell you where they are right now!

3 – Samsung Hue II flip open kind (we’re not very cell phone savvy – just moved to a house where we get a cell phone signal for the first time in 8 years (when we first got a cell phone).

4 – Leftover schnitzel, corn & can’t elope.  Well, I could but I’m already married.

5 – I try very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard not to think about candy. Really. NO thoughts at all about my favorite candy.  None. Nada. Zip.  OH OK YOU FORCED ME TO TALK.  My very favorite candy is this little square I first tasted when we lived in Germany.  It’s called an “Ice Cube” chocolate (by Albert & Co/Moritz; used to be blue & silver packaging; is now gold; I found it is available online) - there is no wax in it - a smooth, silky wash of milk chocolate that coats your fingers and tongue, making you want to eat it all at once AND hold it in your mouth until it is all melted.  You know you want it.   You will always want it.  Once you try it, all other chocolate fades from memory.  Trust me. 

                  

OH forget it – even better?  Amazing milk chocolate made in the USA by a place I am so glad I no longer live close by – handmade in Brattleboro Vermont – Tom and Sally’s Chocolate – Belgian milk chocolate and French dark chocolate.  Again, no wax so melt in your mouth (and in your hand) chocolate.  They have moose (& other animal) patties, gourmet chocolate, *ahem* products, and other fun candies.

www.tomandsallys.com/

I think these Monday meetings are NOT so good for me.  *Sigh*

Sometimes it’s hard to just eat RIGHT. When you are supposed to eat an orange, your body says, “But I want something CRUNCHY” and so you ignore your healthy conscience, obey your body and chow down on a mirowave bag of popcorn instead of the orange. Then you suffer untold guilt because of the calores, excess salt, and the fact that you should have eaten something healthier.

I’m having to retrain my head to listen to wisdom instead of letting my body bossing me around. It is not always easy, that’s for sure. If it were, I wouldn’t be in this position.

Major lesson here: if you shouldn’t be eating it right now, DO NOT HAVE IT IT YOUR CUPBOARD! I had to give the microwave popcorn away – *sigh* – but it is for my own good! Too much salt, too many calories, way too many chemicals, and just plain NOT good for me. Regular popcorn is better in so many ways.

I recommend you go through your pantry and cupboards, and get rid of anything that could be a temptation to you. Anything that would ruin all the hard work you are putting in every day – get rid of it.

Then the next time you need to make a food choice, your body may scream, “junk food, junk food” but you won’t have any to feed it. Drink some water then reach for an orange, apple, boiled egg – anything on your list of approved foods!

I am going to have to go find some safe, healthy snacks – oh joy, back to rice cakes! Ummm… NOT! How about a pear? Without the dumbbells!!

Today I discovered that a blog I like to read, Never Growing Old, initiated a a way for us to get to know one another.  She is the one who calls it “Meet Me on Monday” and, as stated in her blog today, states that she found she ”thought of a great way for all of us to ‘meet’ each other” – go check out her posting today to understand better:

Never Growing Old (she especially wants to connect with over-40 bloggers).  I could hate her, she’s so beautiful AND over 40 – but she’s my new hero and someone I set as a standard to point out to myself, “One does not have to let ones self go.”

Basically she posts (and answers) 5 “get to know you” questions.  Here are today’s – and to those of you with blogs, go to her site to grab the info and do likewise! Everyone else, answer the questions in the Comments section – I want to know – I have an Inquiring Mind!

Questions:

1. What is your favorite sandwich?
2. What is stashed under your bed/mattress?
3. What is your favorite flower?
4. What is your favorite magazine?
5. How often do you weigh yourself?

1 – I pretty much love ALL sandwiches so how can I choose just one?  I love pastrami with swiss cheese on a bagel but it is OFF my food list right now!  Can anyone tell me why?  Anyone?  Bueller?

2 – Alpha Hubby has ensured over the past 15 years that I can’t put ANYTHING under my bed, first with a platform, then with our new sleigh bed (no room). So I guess my answer would be… dust bunnies. Why? Because Alpha Hubby has made sure I can never put anything under the bed, including a MOP, BROOM, or VACUUM!



3 – Favorite flower – again, just one???  I love the smell of warm carnations fresh out of the garden, but my top all time favorite would have to be Snapdragons!  No no, wait – poppys… but what about spider lilies… oh never mind – these are my top three no four… this is WHY I don’t like these questions!

                

                                               

Where was I?  Oh yes, #4 – favorite magazine.  Phew! That’s an easy one – I love MORE Magazine (www.more.com), a magazine for women over 40 (altho they do need to do some work on representing women OVER 45, 46, 48, 50, etc.)!  I especially like their header…”For women of style and substance!”

And, AT LAST, we get to question #5 – man this has been HARD but here we go, the last question - How often do I weigh myself?  Why do you want to know? I mean, it’s sort of personal between me and my scale, isn’t it?? Oh OK – I try to only do once a week – sometimes it is less, sometimes it is more – but sometimes it is NEVER when I’m afraid to get on because the scale has become my enemy instead of a simple guide to where I am on my journey.  I know, I know – I have issues!!  Maaaajor issues.

I shall go deal with my issues immediately!

OK. I’m going to go do 20 minutes now. WHAT? OH YES I AM. You can’t tell me what to do. NO, I am NOT going to go read a book. No, I am not going to go work on the website. Oh heck no, I’m not going to eat that candy bar that shouldn’t even be in my house!  Stop arguing with me… I AM TOO THE BOSS OF YOU!  Yes, I am!

Da dum… when the movie “Jaws” came out, there was a sound that was made signifying the shark was coming.  After that movie, that sound was used in jokes and spoofs for “danger” or “something is coming, looming, frightening!”  Well, that’s my swimming pool and treadmill – da dum, da dum, dadumdadumdadum… they’re looming in my future and I can run away in stark terror or I can buckle down and fight like a… LBD winner.

I have figured out that I can’t really expect great results with getting back into my LBD if I don’t incorporate exercise into my lifestyle.  Previously, I’ve talked about how you have to make the decision then follow-through.  People make decisions all the time but until that decision is turned into follow-through, it doesn’t count.

Someone I know put it best in a recent email to me: “The bottom line to the thought process… was that it is all in the mind… when you hit bottom you will (or I guess I should say “most people will”) react in a positive way – not think about it, not talk about it, not read about it, not study it, not care what any one else thinks – you will just DO IT – and be successful – end of story.”

He’s right.  I can talk about getting on that treadmill or in that pool all I want.  Until I just do it, I won’t be successful. 

So now the big test comes – to see what is inside me – dedication to my LBD plan or have I just been blowing hot air?  Da um, da dum…