The LBDDiaries.com Blog

MAN it’s been a long haul, up and down, down and up for this 10 pound weight loss goal, and I’ve been a psycho-kitty (just saying I’m unbalanced, bwahaahhaahaa).  Focused, scattered, mad, glad, sad, amazed, freaked, breaking rules, dumb, happy, thrilled, angry, stupid, unhappy, eating right, not eating right, learning, plateauing, stuffing, weighing foods, avoiding scales, living on the scales, and just in general:

AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

However, I am happy to report that, much to my surprise, I finally broke down. I tiptoed in, snuck up on and slipped onto the scales after a week or so of avoiding them, and:

I experienced a miracle. 

Somewhere in between all the fretting, worrying, feeling like a failure, eating wrong foods (none of your business Alpha Hubby.  Ah ain’t talkin’), not weighing the food, eating off one more card than I was supposed to (Deal a Meal), and thinking I will NEVER NEVER EVER break this 10 pound sticking point, this morning – ahhhh, this morning, I said to myself, “Get on the scale and see where you are and deal with it” – and I had not only lost the 10 pounds, I was 2 pounds under that.  Wow.

But here’s the thing – I NEVER stopped Sweating to the Oldies (and also got some time in the pool playing around).  I finally found something I would stick to, exercise wise.

But I also imagine where I’d be if (1) I hadn’t eating a few wrong-for-me-right-now foods and (2) learned a lesson or two sooner.

Oh YES I celebrate this victory – but I also need to focus on what it is that causes me to sabotage myself right before reaching a goal.  THAT is the question – why:  Why do I do this to myself?  Why do I undermine my own plans and goals?  Why do I let the scale, an inanimate object, rule my life like a dictator?  Why do I not always do the things I know to do?  Why do I have a chocolate urge every now and again?  Why do the birds keep on singing?  Oh, sorry, oldies song…

When I have the answers, I’ll let you know – that is, when I WANT to let you in on my inner workings – to be transparent, honest, and totally OUT there.  I pretty much know the answers but do I want to share them? We’ll see. It might be pretty ugly, these secrets inside that manifest on the outside.

In the meantime, here’s my tip for the week – DON’T STOP MOVING.  No matter what, exercise, exercise, exercise.  Move that body – push it beyond where you’ve been.  If you walk to the end of the block and back?  Aim at walking it twice.  If you take the elevator?  Try at least one floor of stairs, then when you’re done wheezing, huffing and puffing, take the elevator the rest of the way.  Park a wee bit further from the mall doors and walk to that candy shop (NO! Don’t do that, just kidding!!).  Just don’t sit there!  Get on offa yo feet and DANCE! DO something! Mooooovvvveeeee!

I am now going to go work on my NEXT 10 pound goal. Whoo hoo! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y that’s the way we spell… don’t eat ‘da pie!!

****Another Most Excellent Journey Update****

I only have 2.5 pounds to go for my (first) 10 pound goal. (See HERE for what prompted this goal-setting)

It’s been slow but STEADY.

I even ate full fat lasagna (*Ahem*. T’was not my fault, Alpha Hubby made me do it with his office party and the 4 containers of lasagna that I’d made [including one habanera inspired one that demanded a taste because you can't send anything to an office without tasting it first, right?? RIGHT??]. Anyway, 4 containers were sitting on my counter calling to me saying, “Come, come, just one bite won’t hurt you” and there was this evil fork that jumped into my hand…)

Aaaaaand … big breath … and still didn’t gain any weight. How cool is that?

I mean sure, I would love to have dropped 10 pounds the first week but “been there done that gained it back and then some” – so don’t want to do that again.

These Deal-A-Meal cards are ‘da bomb! They are SO easy to follow although Richard is still kicking my bootie with that Sweatin’ to the Oldies tape. I tried the weight training one. FUGITABOUTIT for now – no way. Even using light weights, I couldn’t get past the first couple of exercises. Not and live to tell about it, anyway.

So… soon, my little chickadees, soon. I will be back to tell the tale and will have gotten PAST the humongous mental, physical and emotional block I’ve had for the past year.

Stick to your goals, forgive yourself when you fall. Even better, factor in an occasional slip and work around it. Then you won’t beat yourself up. If you factor in an office party or birthday party, or a lunch out with the girls… you know, all those LIFE experiences that happen and seem to catch us off guard enough to fall off our “diet” wagon. If you face that these things are going to happen and plan ahead what you can do about them to enjoy but experience the least amount of problems, YOU KEEP WINNING.

Case in point – we always, always have spaghetti for Alpha Son’s birthday. This is a given, no deviation. This year Alpha Son emailed and said, “Let’s have grilled food for my birthday. I’ll eat a hot dog and hamburger and that way you can eat whatever it is you are allowed to eat without triggering a wagon fall.” (some paraphrase)

So even he is working with me on this journey. I am surrounded on all sides by people. Good people. People keeping me from chocolate. People stopping me from Granny’s Pound Cake gorges. People helping me. Why am I not happy about that? Oh OK – JUST KIDDING. A support group is very necessary. And it beats those fair-weather friends who say, “Just one bite won’t hurt” or “You’re not that overweight. You look good.” (This last one always amazes me considering how much overweight I am).

In the meantime, HAPPY EASTER! Remember WHO it is about.