So… a Father’s Day blog about Alpha Hubby.

Alpha Son has been out of the house a few years now.  We see him often enough to enjoy him (and his beautiful wife) but the paradigm has shifted.  Now it’s “fun, fun, fun ’til her daddy takes the T-bird awaaaaaay nekkid house!!”  Sorry.

Now Alpha Hubby is an amazing father. But he isn’t my daddy (yeah, yeah Hon, I know “who’s my daddy, now” – and you know that’s not what I’m talking about).  Anyway, he isn’t MY daddy.

One thing we talked about when we were getting to know one another after our whirlwind meet-greet-marriage was that we didn’t want to get on the other side of raising Alpha Son and be like so many other couples who live separate lives in the same house.  Or wondering who that stranger is sitting across the table without kids to run interference.  I waited so dog-goned long for him to swoop down and scoop me up and set me atop his white steed while he was wearing his knightly shining armour, that I didn’t want to waste time simply being a mom.  I’d been a mom.  A single mom.  For 11 years.  I loved being a mom.  But.

After Alpha Hubby and I married, I wanted a lover first ’cause you know that saying?  No? Well I’ll tell you:

“The most important thing a father can do for his children
is love their mother.”
- Theodore Hesburgh, American Priest

So we talked.  We talked about our needs, desires, wants, hopes, and dreams, and how we can help one another fulfill them.  He talked about the importance of rendezvous, fooling around, carnal knowledge, making out, heavy petting, necking – all synonyms for a word I won’t type because spammers hit my blog like crazy with nastiness if I do but it ends in an “x”.

Suffice it to say, those rendezvous were – and are – very important to him (and most men, if they are honest).  Very, very, very, very, very important.  Because you know what?  He didn’t marry a mother.  He married a woman he was attracted to, in love with, and wanted.

So we set the parameters of our relationship, most importantly that we came first, then parenting came after that.  If we didn’t protect the “we” the parenting kind of gets messed up, too.

So… Alpha Hubby likes rendezvous.  I mean REALLY likes them.  Back when Alpha Son was home, we worked to find time just for us every day.  We may not always reach the end-results of a rendezvous – oh, please.  You are all old enough to know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, intimacy isn’t just the end-result. It is everything that gets you there, even if you don’t “get there” that particular time.  You will.  Intimacy is accumulative, it builds up and it keeps him knowing he’s your hero, your number one, your IT.

And after all these years, I know one thing for sure.  As long as Alpha Hubby knows he is #1 in my life, all was well in our Casa.  The only time things go sideways will be when we have things out of whack for whatever reason.  I might get too focused on something else.  He might get into remodeling the house and not come up for air.

When we put our focus on something other than each other, the intimacy diminishes.  I don’t say it is easy to keep that focus laser sharp. It takes work and effort but are so vital to a healthy relationship.  When the intimacy diminishes then everything begins to separate.  That ugly distance begins to develop between you… and it needs to be stopped right in its tracks before it gets its claws into the relationship ’cause who the heck wants to be roommates?

So we have spent our last 19 years learning how to keep that focus on one another.  We worked on it while raising Alpha Son until he moved out into his own life.  We worked on it when times were tough. We worked on it when parents and sisters and bothers moved on to heaven.  We worked on  it when times were not tough.  And we continue to work on it to make it even better than ever.

Ahem.

Yep.  That intimacy is another area one needs to continue to grow in so it never gets stagnant.  I might write a post sometime about some of the things we did and do to keep the intimacy fresh and smokin’ H-O-T.  But the important point for Father’s Day is to remember to keep that intimacy on the front burner no matter what else is going on in our life.

It may be Father’s Day but he is still a man, the one desired, wanted, loved, and cherished.

So Alpha Hubby were chatting the other day.  We are always chatting.  One of our favorite topics to talk about is intimacy.  Any form.  Talking about talking about it.  Talking about increasing it.  Talking about doing it.  Talking about protecting it.  Talking about likes and dislikes.  Talking.

So I asked jokingly, “So, what if I’m not in the mood?”

He swiftly replied, “I’ve got rope, baby.”

He does.  It’s red.

Happy Father’s Day.  Guess what gift Alpha Hubby is getting?

Next year, Alpha Hubby and I will be married 20 years.  T-W-E-N-T-Y years.  I know that may not seem like a long time to those of you who have been married longer, but trust me when I say it is a joyous miracle for Alpha Hubby and me.  So sweet.

I was looking for a song to fit a post I was writing when I came across this song, We Must Be Lovin’ Right, singer is George  Strait.  I’d never heard it before but it completely explains our love affair.

I’ve listened to so many women talk about their significant others. Few of them talk about positive traits.  It is almost always something negative, unhappy, or derogatory.  How easy it is to look at our loved one with jaded, been-there-done-that eyes.  It really is a choice to give them the mercy you expect them to give you.

We made a pact when we married.  We were determined to protect what we’d found.   And when you wait as long as I did for this guy to find his trusty steed, then shine up his armour, then ride into the spooky old woods to find me – well, I sure wasn’t going to settle!

Alpha Hubby has this trait – he grabs live with both hands and chooses to enjoy it, is happy, wakes up in the same mood every day, and makes me join him.  He refuses to let things get him down.  He has developed amazing faith that God is going to take care of us – and He has.  Alpha Hubby has had a lot of loss in his life.  He’s made the choice that life is precious, short, and to be enjoyed – now.

A few years back, I found these two pictures for Alpha Hubby’s birthday.  They are a perfect description of what Alpha Hubby means to me.

He truly is my Knight in Shining Armour and I will never take that for granted.  We work very hard to enjoy life to the fullest, to keep the intimacy fresh and alive (and often), to stop strife in the very beginning, and to ensure we always look at one another with eyes of love.  That last one is tougher than most people think – and yet easier than most people think.  It is a habit you cultivate – to think the best of one another, instead of the worst.

Worst is default and so easy to fall into.  It is harder to keep your mouth shut and grab your mind and say, “Stop that! We are not going down that thought-road” when it wants to catalogue all the wrongs it thinks the other person has perpetrated!  Your mind is almost always wrong.  Even if your mind wasn’t wrong, make a choice to cut your love some slack.  They do that for you, more than you believe.

We’ve had people say, “Oh, you guys are just so lucky.”  LUCK has nothing to do with it.  If you make a determination that love will NOT fade away with time, then it won’t.  If you work to keep things fresh, to make sure the world doesn’t intrude all the time, or to ensure that other person stays #1 to you (and most importantly, they KNOW it), then it will be that fairy tale you dreamed of.

Your relationship is in your hands.  You choose how it goes.  You write the story of your love.  You write the fairy-tale ending.

Alpha Hubby and I may bump heads, argue, holler, get very passionate about some things – but in the end, nothing is more important than being one instead of being right.  He taught me that.  I came from a family that went to war over who was right and who was wrong.  I had to unlearn that ugly trait and learn a new one – love trumps all.

At the end of the day, will what you’re fighting over matter in 5 years?  Ten years?  Fifty years?  If you want to get to fifty years, the answer better be NO!  NO it is not important.  Find a compromise and move on.

Do lovin’ right.

There was a movie, “The Horse Whisperer” that came out a few years back.  It was a tale about a talented trainer with a remarkable gift for understanding horses, who is hired to help an injured teenager and her horse get back to health following a tragic accident..

According to Wikipedia:   Natural horsemanship, colloquially known as horse whispering, is a collective term for a variety of horse training techniques… which generally share principles of developing a rapport with horses,using communication techniques derived from observation of free-roaming horses and rejecting abusive training methods.

Basically a Whisperer develops a rapport with something wild, feral or afraid.   Kind of like I was when I met Alpha Hubby.  Boy howdy.

That poor guy.  He had no idea what he was tangling with when he admired a pair of legs in a short skirt at work!  Of course, I had no idea what was still in me, either.

I always wanted a true love – a soul mate – but after years of abusive relationships (yes, that is an “s” on the end of that word) I had totally given up.  I had also hardened my heart and become quite cynical.  I was never going to give a guy a chance to puree my heart again.

Oh sure, way back, deep down in the darkest recesses of my heart, there *might* have been a slight twinkle, a momentary flicker left of hope.  Sort of like the near-death poisoning of Tinker Bell when I was a child and Mary Martin (who played Peter in a 1960 televised broadcast) asked the audience if they believed in fairies.

Tinker Bell’s light is fading, and she tells Peter that she could get well again if the children believed in fairies.  Peter turns to the television audience and says, “Do you believe?  Oh please, please believe! If you believe, wherever you are, clap your hands and she’ll hear you!  Clap!  Clap!  Don’t let Tink die, Clap!!”  During the stage play, all the children in the audience clapped and shouted that they believed in fairies.

Of course, my brother and I were glued to the television screen, sure that Tinker Bell was going to die unless we did something.  As far as we knew, we really were saving Tinker Bell’s life by clapping and shouting at the top of our lungs, “I do believe in fairies!”

And as far as my brother and I knew, Tinker Bell miraculously heard us and her life was saved!

Well, that is sort of what I was like when I met Alpha Hubby – my light was almost out.  There wasn’t much hope of a soul mate or someone who could truly love me, unconditionally.   Someone who believed in me.

Then along came The Nan Whisperer.  Somehow he did everything right.  When I had a major meltdown and decided he was getting too close and I couldn’t see him anymore, I called and said, “I need space. I don’t think I want to date right now.” 

He calmly replied, “OK, if that is what you need.”  That surprised me.  I was used to someone trying to talk me out of it and into what they wanted.

Then I proceeded to tell the enemy what I was feeling, where it was coming from and why I was freaking out.  I mean, who does that?  Who gives the enemy ammunition to use against you? 

And this Whisperer calmly talked to me, never pressured me, listened to everything I said, and completely seduced me with his voice so that by the end of the phone call, I was fine.  I decided that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I kept seeing him.  Huh.  I still remember when I hung up the phone wondering just what had happened!

All throughout the first couple of years of our marriage, Alpha Hubby would calmly help me work through the remaining fears and freak outs I had.  He would listen then say something so perfect that I quit being afraid.  Sometimes he had to whisper the same thing to me many times until I believed it, but he did.  He never made me feel he was getting impatient.

There were times we sat and talked, getting to know one another.  You have to remember, we married 7 weeks after we met.  We weren’t in our 20’s and both had some history behind us.  And yet, we knew we had something special, from God, for us.  We knew the heart but we just didn’t KNOW one another at all.

So during these times of communicating, I’d nervously tell him about myself, my past, who I was and what choices I’d made.  He’d whisper the right words, he helped me feel beautiful, he whispered and whispered and whispered until I really believed he L-O-V-E-D me.  ME, the me I was right then and there, and the me I had been, and the me I would become.

He whispered me right out of my fears and into the most amazing adventure I’ve ever been on in my life. 

Is there such a thing as a soul mate?  A true love that can last throughout all the years?  A real romance that can be just as hot 20 years after it starts as it was when it began?

Only the Whisperer knows.

And baby, so do I.  Thank you for whispering to me until I wasn’t afraid anymore.

but!  There are limits to my love.

During the Superbowl there was an M&M® commercial that I fell in love with.  It is 31 seconds of silly:

http://youtu.be/2KiR7rMB5Jg

or

And the other day, we had this:

… the official opening of the swimming pool. It took a couple of weekends to get it ready but Alpha Hubby, in all his macho alpha-ness swam in it last Sunday.  I went out to sit on the deck and watch him, and he kept taunting, “Come on in, the water’s fine! Come on! You know you want to. Come on in. Get in the pool! Come on baby, it’s wonderful.”

Um. NO.

I would do anything for love…

but I won’t do that.

NO. I refuse to freeze my little tushie off for him or anyone else. It’s APRIL and there hasn’t been enough time for the water to warm up. NO.

Then there was the time last year that he had to go to Mississippi for a meeting. Someone had to feed the cows their sweet feed. Yes, you have to because they stage a rebellion if they don’t get their sweet feed. Big old spoiled babies.  Did I tell you I’m more of a city slicker?  And I don’t do cows except in grilled and BBQ form?

Anyway, they are fed in a corral.  A small enclosed space.  Someone had to feed them and that someone was me. He even bought me these so I wouldn’t wear my flip flops and step in something… interesting.

Like this:

(Aw, come on!  It’s chocolate!  From a place we discovered when we lived in Vermont – Tom and Sally’s Chocolates, bought out by Hauser Chocolates in 2010.  Handmade Belgian chocolate.  Funny and delicious.)

But that was then. This is now.

I would do anything for love…

but I won’t do that.

They went from this:

Mama’s Pride 2012

Cutesy, relatively afraid of me so they stayed away until the trough was filled, to this:

Buddy 2012

He may be a laid back sweetheart but these cows are now one heck of a lot BIGGER than they were this time last year. They want to butt Leland because they think he’s a playmate. Some of the little ones have horns they want to test. The others are just HUGE and a little head butt will send you into the fence. The one time I did feed, Mama, who used to be a show cow, wanted me to scratch her big old head. She’s a foot taller than me and even though she was on the other side of the gate, when I told her she really needed some cream rinse on her hair, she wanted to head butt me.  In a nice way.  I’m sure.

NO.

Baby, I love you and I would do anything for love.  But I won’t do that.

U got no candy for me?

And you can’t make me by having them make sad-eyes at me.

NO.

Ten points:

1. One time when I was down and blue, a wise person told me to sit down with a journal, a piece of paper, a notebook, just something, and write down ten (10) down that I liked about myself.
2. It was VERY hard at first. I wasn’t used to thinking nice things about myself.  Most people aren’t.  We are conditioned to believe if we admit what’s good about ourselves, we’re selfish and conceited.
3. I was also told that for every time I said, “I hate this about me” or “I don’t like that about me” I also had to say “BUT I really do like this about me”.
4. The reason? When a person makes a sentence that has the word “but” in it, what comes before the word “but” is erased by what comes after.  You know, like when someone says, “I love you but…” you just erased the “I love you.”  Or “Oh I know you like that about me but…” you are saying you don’t believe they are telling the truth. 
5. We can learn to annihilate our negative perceptions by replacing them with positive ones.
6. Learn to say “thank you” and then stop talking.  None of that “Oh this ole thing??” when someone compliments what you are wearing.   Get rid of any disqualifying words that negate what the compliment was.
7. Sometimes it takes work but it is important to stop putting ourselves down and to see our own worth.
8. You are an amazing person.
9. Learn to be amazed with yourself more often.
10. It is time for you to see it.  Without qualifications.

Now go. 

Write down TEN (10) things about yourself that are positive.  POS-I-TIVE.  Take your time but write them down no matter how long it takes.  Then – and here’s the hard part – start to believe them.

The automatic music Playlist is back.  If you don’t want to hear the music, go to the right-hand sidebar and pause or stop.

I’ve been enjoying my hiatus and am planning to do some cleaning up of the website before I come back.  In the meantime I thought I’d share some more fave things.  It’s two-fold – I want you to enjoy things that are amazing AND I want people to help keep the product from going extinct.

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I was born with fine whiteish-blond hair.  Huh.  I guess I’ve come full circle since it is now white for a different reason.  Anyway, my eyelashes and eyebrows were so blond that they looked non-existent.  Good thing I plucked when I was younger because they came back in darker.  But the lashes – I am always on the lookout for anything (other than false lashes) to help my mascara amp up my lashes.  You’re gonna love this:

M·A·C Prep + Prime Lash

 “For use under mascara: a white coat that dries to a semi-clear base. Smoothes and conditions the lashes. Intensifies the build and lengthening quality of all formulas. Helps mascara last longer.” 

After I use this, I don’t have any trouble getting mascara to show and build up without clumping.  It’s pretty amazing stuff.  I purchased mine on ebay but you can find it at department stores (online) or Sephora, etc.

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Oscar Blandi Dry Shampoo

 

If you go-go-go and don’t have time to wash your hair, it is time to discover dry shampoo!  Oscar Blandi is what I use simply because I discovered it cheaply at TJ Maxx.  I love, love, love dry shampoo spray because sometimes my root area is oily.  I’ve used other brands (Big Sexy Hair [good stuff], Batiste [strong scent] and Bumble and Bumble [$$]).  Dry shampoo not only makes my hair look clean but it acts like a root boost and helps create volume. 

It also comes in a shake on powder (invisible) that some people like better than the spray.  Google it for best pricing.

 ”When applied, it instantly boosts volume and cleanses the hair without water. Gentle starches absorb excess oil and product build-up. The end result is hair that looks and feels freshly shampooed, without a trace of residue.”

 

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Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps 

 “Born in 1908 to a Jewish family that had been making soap since 1858, Emanuel Bronner was the third generation certified as a master-soapmaker under the guild system of the time. In 1929, he brought his formulas for high-quality liquid and bar soaps to America, starting Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps in its current form in 1948.” 

My skin is dry and when we began going process-free in our food choices, Alpha Hubby decided to do the same with his soap (i.e., no chemicals).  He switched to goat milk soap (see below) which he uses on body and hair.  I didn’t like it for my hair, so I stick to my shampoo (only because I’m spoiled with my shampoo).  I discovered Dr. Bronner’s pure castille soap in the peppermint fragrance at the health food store.  I fell in love until I discovered it also came in rose (and other wonderful scents like almond, http://www.drbronner.com/DBMS/LS.htm). 

I order it in its liquid form online now.  It is “A combination of organic extra virgin coconut, olive, jojoba and hemp oils, together with pure essential oils, creates a unique soap that cleans effectively without being aggressive and produces a velvety-lather that leaves the skin silky-smooth and refreshed.”  Lovely stuff!  My skin is very happy.

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Rose of Sharon Goat Milk Soap

(And other goodies, made in America, supporting faminly owned and operated small businesses).

 

One of the Fragrances

As I said, Alpha Hubby switched to using goat milk soap several years ago using the shampoo and body bars.  We first discovered Monica at Rose of Sharon Acres online but she has since become an e-friend.  She is always discovering and creating new products all the time – stuff good for you!  She has a liquid toothpaste I’ve used for a few years now.  The lady who cleans my teeth found just a minute bit of plaque in January.  She was amazed.  Me, too!  Even better?  For the first time since I was a child, I had NO cavities at a dentist visit.  I’m not saying her tooth liquid did it, but it IS sugar free!!

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Last but not least – if you have a Keurig One-Cup Coffee Pot, you know how expensive those little pods can get.  Ta-Da!

Ekobrew Cup,Refillable K-Cup

Add your favorite ground coffee and you’re good to go.  A lot less expensive than the pods.  I purchased mine on Amazon – and they have several types, too.  I use these and have for about 2 years now.

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Alpha Hubby pretty much finished the remodel of the living room (thank goodness, I hated that carpet).  We still have to figure out pictures, extras, etc., but that can wait.  His most important point was putting up his new television on the wall he created for it.  I think it looks amazing; what do you think?

Their LR Before Purchase 1

Their LR Before Purchase 2

Their LR Before Purchase 3

  After but not completely finished yet:  

TV On Black Wall

LR After 1

LR After 2

 The extra bedroom is painted a lovely… a lovely… well, I was going for a light lavender but sent Alpha Hubby to the store and I got this – which isn’t bad NOW, just surprised the heck out of me at first.   I walked in and said, “Far out, man! Like wow. Where’s the doobie, dude?” 

Yeah, shades of hippy color and tie-died comforter! It’s all good.  It is a lovely EASTER color.  Have a blessed and HAPPY EASTER and Spring IS coming!  Really!!

I have a love affair going on with words.  Always have.  I looooove good words.  That being said, my word for today is HI-A-TUS.  As in I’m on one – a hiatus.  I will be taking a break from posting.  Nothing is wrong.  I just need to do some things, and while doing them, I also need to play clean up with the blog.  I need to fix broken links and pictures.  I need to do some Spring housecleaning in the real house and on the blog.  I need to do some thinking.  And I need to take a break to reevaluate blogging and if I want to continue. 

I am going to leave you with a story I wrote back in 1993.  Back then I was looking around for something for my son to read, something from a children’s Christian standpoint that would help him in every day life.  I didn’t find anything I liked in that age group (10-12).  Most were too sermony and booooring.

So I was sitting at the office one morning and a line ran through my mind.  I turned to my computer and typed:

“I am so mad,” snorted Billy Dragon.  A small tree in the yard caught on fire.

Suddenly an entire character was in my mind and an incident Alpha Son had been through was laid out in the form of a young dragon who has a slight problem with his temper.  That story became “Billy Dragon and… Losing Your Temper.”   I went on to write about 17 stories for him, true stories that really happened but embellished with an entire animal town with animal names for his friends and acquaintances. 

I wanted to chronicle some of the neat faith adventures he had as a child so he’d never forget.  He has had some pretty amazing faith adventures in his life.  He loved to hear them, too.  What kid wouldn’t want stories about himself?

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Without further ado, here is

BILLY DRAGON AND … LOSING YOUR TEMPER
Copyright © 1993 by Nan Cook Loyd

“I am so mad,” snorted Billy Dragon.  A small tree in the yard caught on fire.

Of course when Billy Dragon snorted it would burn up whatever was in front of him because his snorts were full of smoke and fire.  And even though his mother had warned him about snorting, Billy Dragon snorted again. 

“I am SO mad,” he said louder, “mad, mad, mad!”  The grass around the tree began to burn.  Billy Dragon took a deep breath, getting ready to REALLY snort when suddenly:

“BILLY DRAGON!  What in the world do you think you are doing?”  Mama Dragon was not happy.  In fact, Mama Dragon’s tail was twitching back and forth and her big foot was tapping on the ground.  Things were not good when Mama Dragon’s tail was twitching and her foot was tapping on the ground.

“Well?” she crossed her arms and asked, looking pointedly at the burning tree and grass.

Silence.  The crackling of the fire was the only sound heard.  That and the tap-tap-tap of Mama Dragon’s big foot on the ground.  Mama Dragon did not approve of snorting at all.

“Ummmm,” muttered Billy Dragon.  He looked down at the ground, not wanting to look at his Mama.

“Excuse me,” asked Mama Dragon, “did you say something?”  She went over to the burning grass and stepped on it with her big foot.  Dragons really do have big feet and the grass fire went out right away.  She took a breath and poofed in the direction of the tree and out went that fire — snorting and poofing being two different things, you see.

“Oh, Mom,” huffed Billy Dragon, “I couldn’t get my electric car to work and it made me SO mad!”

Mama Dragon looked down at the many small car pieces and said, “It looks like your car has been destroyed.  What happened to your car?”

“Well, it wouldn’t go when I pushed the button on the control.  It made me so mad, I threw it across the yard and it hit the wall and it broke in a zillion pieces and that made me even madder and, well, I guess I sort of snorted, a little bit,” Billy Dragon’s voice got lower and lower as he told his story, “and it really was just a little snort, Mom, honest!”

“Now son, from the look of that poor tree, it was more than a little snort.  We need to have a serious talk about this snorting you do every time you get frustrated,” said Mama Dragon and she turned and went over to a big rock and sat down. 

Reluctantly, Billy Dragon followed her, dragging his tail, hanging his head, looking so sad.  He knew he wasn’t supposed to snort because it was dangerous to any one or anything in front of him! He knew snorting was a work of the flesh, too.  It meant he lost his temper.

“Now, Billy Dragon, do you know one of the things the Bible says about tempers?” Mama Dragon asked.  He shook his head “no” and waiting in silence for her to continue. 

Mama Dragon said pointedly, “First of all, you know losing your temper is walking in the flesh, right?  The Bible says we are to be Spirit-led, not flesh led – or acting all goofy in a way not pleasing to God.  And I want to know if you read your Bible devotional before you played today.  You know we have to renew our minds so we don’t act like humans!”

Billy Dragon’s head sunk lower.  He hadn’t read his Bible devotional today.  He hadn’t read it because he wanted to play first.  He felt really bad.  He knew he was wrong to snort.  It was almost as bad as when humans yelled.

Mama Dragon was still talking, “The only way we can walk as Spirit-filled dragons and not lose our tempers is to read our Bible every day.  And Proverbs 14:17 says “People with a hot temper do foolish things.’  I’d say you had a hot temper just now, wouldn’t you?”

Billy Dragon really felt bad!  He said in a small voice, “Does that mean I’m a fool, Mama?”  He knew it was not a nice thing to be a fool!  The Bible said so!

Mama Dragon smiled, “Well, no honey.  But you are being foolish to get mad so quickly.  You see, son, if you hadn’t gotten so mad, maybe you would have been smarter about your car.”

Now Billy Dragon looked really puzzled and Mama Dragon smiled really big, “Honey, did you check to see if there were any batteries in your remote control before you threw the car across the yard and broke it into a zillion pieces?”  Mama Dragon knew the batteries were on the table in the cave where Billy Dragon left them in the rush to go outside and play!

Poor Billy Dragon.  His eyes grew very big and round and he felt very, very foolish, indeed. 

“Oh Mom, I broke my car for no reason at all!” Billy Dragon wailed.  “Now I can’t fix it so I don’t have a car anymore.”  He looked at car pieces on the ground and knew losing his temper was not a smart thing at all!

Billy Dragon had learned a very good lesson.  But, Mama Dragon wasn’t through with him yet.

“And one more thing, Billy Dragon.  Because you destroyed my little tree with your snorting, you will do some extra chores around the cave to earn the money to buy a new one.  And you can dig the hole and plant it, take care of it and water it until it’s as big as the one you burned up.”  Mama Dragon looked Billy Dragon right in his eyes to make sure he understood. 

“Yes, M’am,” replied Billy Dragon politely, knowing he was very lucky that was all Mama Dragon said about his snorting.  He knew now that God did not want him to be foolish and lose his temper and burn things up and break his toys.  God wanted him to walk in the Spirit and think smart, not give into the flesh and snort!

Song for this Post:  Crazy sung by Kenny Rogers

 http://youtu.be/lHiL8OulJoc
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When I first met Alpha Hubby, he confused me. He was not like anyone else I’d ever been around.  He also did things to and for me that did not seem to be normal (at least to me).

He liked to place his hand on my cheek, in tenderness, as he gazed into my eyes. It made me very uncomfortable because it felt so exposed. I asked why he did that. He said that when he did, he could read me. I understand that now but at the time I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to read me, much less this… this… MAN person.

If we went out to eat, he would hold out my chair for me at the table.  He also focused on ME completely during conversation.  He asked about me, wanted to know about me, and cared about my answers.  This may be normal for a lot of people, but it really wasn’t for me.

The first time he opened my car door, it felt special.  The fact he expected me to wait while he walked around to open the car door, then help me out, felt very strange.  I kept thinking then saying, “I am perfectly capable of opening the door for myself.”  He would always reply, “I know you can. I like doing this.”

Once I pushed it too far about how weird it felt and he stopped opening my door.  I think sometimes women can be very stupid in their bid to be perceived as independent.  We can lose all the softness in our life by clamoring, “I CAN DO IT” like my kid did at 3 when he decided he could dress himself.  We get so busy making sure everyone around us knows we’re independent that we don’t perceive they already know that and aren’t challenging it.

Finally I asked him WHY he wanted to open my door.  He said, “It is a way I can honor you.  It is an honor for me to open your door, to treat you like a lady, to show you that I think you are valuable and precious to me.  I respect your independence and I fell for you because you’re so capable and smart, but this is also for me.”

Oh.

Well, didn’t that make me feel small and petty.  And gave me a shiver inside and did make me feel special but also like I’d lost something very precious, too.  So I said to him that no one had ever really wanted me to know they thought I was valuable and precious, and that it was very hard for me to accept.  I also asked for another chance to accept his respect.

He gladly began opening my car door again and I learned a valuable lesson in the art of compromise.  Compromise is very good when you are also getting major benefits from it.  And are learning how to feel protected, loved, safe, and special all from one tiny act.  And my son watched this and when he began dating, he did the same thing.  Amazing.

He would kiss my hand, my palm, my forehead.  He is very much a touch person.  It was very hard for me because I was such a wall person.  I had major thick walls built around my heart and emotions.  It did require the sledgehammer of his love to get in there.  But he did.  Boy did he.

He is crazy for me.  There is no doubt in his mind that we can make our love go on forever.  He is dedicated to that.  When he says “no divorce” it isn’t even a word we will allow out of our mouths – EVER - not that we’ve ever gotten that angry or stupid with one another. 

The lyrics say it all – in all my life there’ll be no one else.  If I looked all my life there could be no one else and for the rest of my life all I need is him.

Next month we will have been married 19 years.  Here it’s where I will always want to be.  I will always need his love. 

Baby, thank you for showing me what true love really is.  Thank you for loving me and for protecting my heart.  Thank you for making me a better me.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for this wonderful adventure in life that we are on together.  Thank you for being an amazing lover, friend, husband, and father.  You showed me love, and still do, all the time.  You are really crazy, you know?

Thank you for being crazy.  Crazy about me.  Crazy in love with me.

You are the dream that came true.